Munchkin Soccer - Day One

Today, Aislynn had her very first soccer team meeting. She is in a group called "munchkin soccer" and it is for 3-4 year olds. It was truly the most hilarious hour of my week, watching the coach attempt to teach seven little children something about soccer.

It starts with the coach simply trying to organize the kids "Okay, will all the cobra soccer kids please come over here?" he shouts, as one runs across the field, another stoops down to pick a flower, a third runs over to mom and dad for a hug, and a fourth stands in the middle of the field crying. The remaining children danced, rolled, ran and stood in place, totally oblivious to the activity in front of them. He finally gets all the kids together and says, "Okay, stay here." He then tries to go pick up the soccer ball they needed to use, but all the kids followed him across the field to get it. He turns around half way across the field, "No - stay here!" he commands, "Don't follow me," so they each wander off in their own directions and by the time he returns with the ball, he has to start the round-up routine all over again.

He puts the kids in two lines facing each other, and tells the one side "now kick the ball to the person across from you who is your partner." But all the kids wait, seeming to need him to individually guide them to kick their ball. So, one by one, he comes to each kid and shows him/her the person across from them to whom they are supposed to kick the ball. But by the time the kids kick the ball, their partner inevitably has moved or is doing something else or has left the field entirely. In the mean time, the other pairs are playing with the net goal, rounding up everyone's balls, or running back to mom and dad.

Eventually the kids are joined by another small group so they can actually try to play a game. This, too, is nothing short of hilarious. One kid stoops down and picks up the ball. "No, no! You can't touch it with your hands!" the coach shouts to which the kid takes the ball and runs across the field, throwing it as hard as he can out of bounds. When the ball comes back, all the kids on one team converge on it and kick it towards a goal - it doesn't matter that it is the wrong goal - the kids still yell and cheer and happily try to kick it towards the goal again. The kids on the other team were, again, rounding up all the extra soccer balls and kicking them out onto the field as well.

Kids enthusiastic one minute suddenly turn sullen and to tears in the next. But all the coach has to do is take them by the hand for a minute, guide them in the right direction, and they cheerfully bound off again. A couple parents, discouraged and embarrassed, threaten their child. "If you don't stop coming over here and don't start paying attention, we are not returning next week!" we hear from the parents of one three year old boy who is clearly having the time of his life, though his "soccer activity" involves simply running to the ball, then running back to his parents to tell them about the ball, then running to the goal and then running back to his parents to tell them about the goal. But most of the parents join Mark and I in just seeing this as truly the most delightful entertainment of the week. Did the kids learn anything about soccer today? Maybe...when I asked Aislynn if she learned anything she reported that she is supposed to kick the ball with the side of her foot. That's a pretty good start. Mostly, they just had a good time. And for a four year old, a morning of having a good time, outside, with a ball and other children is pretty amazing and more than enough to ask for. It was a great start to the day for us as well!