Changes and more changes

We are moving again. Not very far this time - just a mile from our current situation. Still, it will be a different school district and therefore different schools for the kids, it will be a different location, it means I'm packing up again, and that our house is in chaos and stress again. It is more expense, too, and that also adds strain. We had to move out of the place we've been renting because the owner wants to sell it. But it has been a quick whirl wind of craziness once more.

Mark and I are also each looking for a half time job to add to our full time work at church because economically we are far from breaking even each month. This is the situation of many, many of those around us, so we know we are not alone, not by any means. People are struggling to make ends meet. We are struggling to make ends meet.

I get how easy it is, how easy it can be, for people in these situations to become angry at God, or to decide there must not be a God, or maybe the answer is that God is not personal and doesn't care about us as individuals. I get that. And while the scripture that says that God looks after the sparrow so we shouldn't worry either sounds great, we see the birds which hit our windows or have been hit by cars and we know that sparrows don't always make it, despite the care they are promised, and that people, too, fall through the cracks.

How do we walk through these difficult times? Where do we see God in these moments? How do we understand God during times of struggle and difficulty? There isn't a short answer to these questions. There isn't a phrase that can give all the comfort needed. There isn't a sermon that can make everything okay in hard times. All I can tell you is what I do and what has been meaningful to me. All I can do is hope that will help you a little as you walk your own journey and find your own answers.

For me, at this place and at this time, I rely on three things to help me get through stressful times, to help me see God, and to understand where God is during difficult times.

First, I look at the beauty in nature. I see God reflected in the sunshine, in the green of the trees, in the fresh morning air. I feel Her presence as the wind blows by, I sense Her strength as each new day unfolds. I hear His voice in the singing of the birds and in the flow of water down a brook or stream. I am renewed in wonder at how much bigger than all of my problems the world in its glory continues to be.

Second, I remember my own personal faith tradition. I remember that the place in Christianity where God is during struggles is on the cross - with us in our struggles, facing these deaths in our lives, experiencing the pain even as we do. I remember also that death never ends the story - there is always life on the other side and I try to hold on to that vision of hope no matter how long or how hard the present may be.

Finally, I look towards community. Once again we have found ourselves surrounded by the love and care of an amazing community. Many in that community came out on Saturday to help us move all of our stuff into someone else's garage for a few days until we can get into our "new" place, and many have also promised to help us move again into the house on Wednesday. I was truly touched and overwhelmed by the care expressed. Those who couldn't physically help us move brought food, brought laughter, sent e-mails, brought support. In this community both near and far, I see God's face, I witness God's hands, I am awed by God's love as it manifests in others. Everyday I live I am supported by the community around me. It is the gift of grace itself.

These are the three things that I feel supporting me most now. Do these things answer the ultimate question of why suffering happens? Of course not. Do they solve the problem of pain or give us an insight into where God is and why God "allows" the world to be so difficult? Maybe a little. Do they help us walk our journey every day in the face of hardship? They do for me. And again, all I can do is share with others what helps me get through and hope that these will help you as well. And now back to the craziness of packing....

Be in peace.

Tea Bag Wisdom

I found this quote on my tea bag label and I love it!

"Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth."
Charles A. Dana

Pot and Kettle situations

Today we had a dress rehearsal for a musical at church. Jasmyn was standing on the stage and her brother, who has a very hard time focusing and staying on task, was not where he was supposed to be. Jasmyn screamed at him from the stage, "Jonah! You get up here right now! You are not where you are supposed to be!" It was obvious to me at that moment that Jasmyn's behavior, rather than making Jonah look incompetent, made Jasmyn look rather brattish, demanding, and bossy. So, in turn, I turned to Jasmyn and yelled, "Jasmyn, stop yelling at your brother! If you keep yelling at him from the stage...." and then the irony of the whole thing hit me as I saw everyone staring at me with frowns on their faces.

We all see this kind of irony, or lack of self-insight in those around us. The worst drivers I know are people who tailgate, drive recklessly and way beyond the speed limit and yet these are usually the same people whom we find cursing everyone else's driving. I had a woman correct my manners publicly once - I asked someone to do something and she added "Please" in a very loud, corrective voice and again she was completely unable to see that her response was more lacking in manners than my failure to remember the word "please". I can think of one situation in which a wife cannot throw anything away and has a refrigerator, kitchen, den, family room, etc. so covered with stuff that you can't function in these spaces and yet she is constantly "worried" about her husband who has a den full of stuff.

It is easy to see these flaws in others. It is easy for us to see the log in someone else's eye who is trying to remove the speck from ours. Can we even begin to see the logs in our own eyes when we are critical of others? This is much, much harder to do.

I thank God for those little moments of insight in which I see my own hypocrisy and lack of self-reflection, knowing that there are things I miss. But I also pray that we might all strive to remember that we don't see our own imperfections very clearly, so it behooves us to be less judging of others in turn.